The Escapades of Catriona Johanson
by B.N.Bennett
Summary: This are the one shot stories of Catriona and her 'revenge list'. Hilarity and chaos are bound to happen and language shall be used hence the rating T. These stories are not in anyway related to the story, 'The Light in Your Eyes.' R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. Tavington an O'Hara don't belong to me. I just play with them...well... one of them at least..._

* * *

**Even the Best Thought Revenge Goes Askew**

"Where is he?" Catriona grumbled from behind her barrel, eyes scanning the front yard that was full of soldiers and a few women. Cat was crouched behind a gunpowder barrel, fighting ruffles and petticoats. Why? The answer to that question is why she was hiding behind the barrel in the first place. Oh, and there comes that answer now.

Cat grinned evilly, rubbing her hands together. "That's right, mister. Keep walkin'."

Cat watched Brig. General O' Hara making his merry way towards the stable. His hair was covered in powder and combed perfectly while his uniform was brushed and stain free as ever. He was looking about him in his imperial way, nose high in the air, dignity in his stature and gait.

Cat inched forward as he neared the stable entrance. She was brimming with malicious excitement, her small body straining forward around the barrel. O'Hara seemed to pause at the stable entrance, looking down at the ground and then around the stable.

"No, you louse. Keep goin'." Cat whispered fiercely, glaring at O'Hara's back. O'Hara seemed to be thinking. He turned slowly, eyes searching around the area of activity for something. Cat cursed and inched back.

O'Hara's eyes snapped to the barrel, eyes narrowed in anger. He took a step forward, fists at his sides, aiming for the barrel, when O'Hara stopped and searched around with eyes and ears for something.

"Oh crap! What's he doing?" Cat bite her lip, looking around her, trying to find what O'Hara was looking for. Something to finally kill her with?

O'Hara suddenly smiled maliciously. He turned to the barrel and widened that smile into a horrifying grin before he turned away and disappeared into that crowd of soldiers.

"Oh crap! Oh crap!" became Cat's mantra as her head and eyes whipped around wildly, trying to find the general.

A few minutes past before she spotted him and he wasn't alone. Cat paled, realizing what O'Hara planned. She watched with growing horror as O'Hara led William Tavington into her trap.

"I'm going to die." She whimpered, unable to stop the inevitable.

O'Hara led Colonel Tavington towards the stable, talking to the man he hated almost pleasantly. Tavington was looking suspicious, but he couldn't refuse his superior. Cat watched with wide terror filled eyes as O'Hara let Tavington to precede him into the stable. Cat whimpered pitifully as a shout full of shock and rage silenced the yard.

All turned to the stable to see Colonel William Tavington, the afeared Butcher of the Carolinas, standing in the stable's entrance covered in...honey, feathers, and...manure. Tavington stood, fists clenched tightly, glaring around, murder clear in his icy eyes.

"Who did this?" Tavington bellowed, face hard as granite. Cat cowered a bit, swallowing thickly watching him, half fascinated, half terrified.

"I believe the culprit is behind that barrel, Colonel." O'Hara pointed, voice full of false sympathy. His eyes fairly glittered with laughter and male pride at outsmarting a female.

Cat eyes widened, like a deer caught in the headlights, as she stood, arms stretched out in front her, hands out palms facing Tavington as if to ward him off. She shook her head back and forth, eyes never leaving the lean form of her lover and soon to be murderer. Tavington began moving, striding fast towards her retreating form.

"Now, William, I ...I..I did..." Cat squeaked as she turned and ran, skirts hiked up, ruffles flying. Immediately, William ran after her, leaving a yard filled of stunned people.

In the silence, whistling started. It was a merry tune as General O'Hara walked towards the mansion with a spring in his step, his face and smile smug. People looked at each other and shrugged. Soon many began chuckling while others ended up on the ground helpless with laughter, tears falling as they laughed uproariously. The Butcher's lover had bested him. Something never done and something severely punishable. Some women were envious, others pitied the woman for what was to become of her.

Tavington was next seen striding across the yard to the medical tents, relaxed, smug, and sweet smelling, thanks to the bath his lover had provided.

And Cat...well... she wasn't seen for a few days. Even after a visit from Doctor Collins.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize. I only own Cat, Lucifer, and Annabelle.

* * *

Revenge Bites Back

"He won't wiggle out of this one." Cat grumbled, glaring at the figure of General O'Hara.

O'Hara was standing beside a couple women, conversing pleasantly, near a...pond. Cat grinned evilly. She turned and promptly tripped, falling on her face.

"Damn dress!" Cat cursed standing cautiously. "I'll burn you and all the others after my revenge on your blasted creator or should I say creators."

With her skirts held high, Cat hurried to the stable, determination evident across her face. She passed many curious soldiers and servants, but ignored them as she entered the stable. She walked straight towards the back, ignoring the call from one of the stable grooms, who had enough sense to leave. Cat stopped in front of the last stall and faced two dark reddisheyes.

"It's time, Lucifer. You will cooperate if you want to get back at O'Hara for limiting your treats." Cat reasoned with the horse as she opened the stall door. She backed away, letting Lucifer walk out by himself. He shook his dark mane and pawed the ground impatiently.

"Just so." Cat responded as she dragged over a crate, which she stepped onto. "We have no time for a saddle." She gripped his mane firmly but gently, not tugging any of the hair. With her other hand, Cat gripped her dress high, exposing the underwear of the eighteenth century as she lifted her leg even higher than the dress. Leaning on the solid unmoving horse, Cat jumped up on the one foot and promptly fell back onto her ass, staring up at the snickering horse. How did a horse snicker? Well, he would shake his head up and down, lips pulled back on one side exposing his large teeth as he stomped his hoof.

"Damnable horse! That's not funny!" Cat spat, glowering at the amused horse. She stood and assumed her earlier position, but unlike last time, Cat awkwardly threw her leg safely over the horse before pulling herself up on to the horse.

"There! Now let's go." Cat tapped his sides and both horse and rider moved out of the stable. Cat sat erect and proud astride a horse, legs exposed and dress bunched up around her hips and thighs as she raced through a crowd of soldiers, servants, and villagers, completely ignoring the passing laughter. She had a mission. She didn't have time to yell at the lewd minded men.

Cat and Lucifer made record time. Cat spotted O'Hara and the two women ahead and smiled maliciously. "You can't wiggle out of this one, bastard!"

"Let's go, Lucifer!" Cat tapped him sharply in the sides and off they went. O'Hara had his back to both rider and horse, but the women didn't. One screamed and fainted, while the other leap out of the way. O'Hara, at the scream, had turned, but he had been too late. The horse was too close forcing O'Hara to scramble backwards... into the pond...on his posterior. He created a splash, catching himself in face. While he sputtered, Cat sat on top of Lucifer, laughing, tears streaming out of her eyes as she held her stomach. The people that had followed Cat where now laughing as well, making O'Hara flush in embarrassment. He glared up at Cat furiously, muddy and wet, his wig knocked askew over one eye.

Suddenly the eye that was visible went wide. Cat didn't notice so busy was she laughing. Just as suddenly after the eye, Lucifer bucked, shrieking, tossing Cat... into the pond and ... right into the standing O'Hara. Cat immediately rolled off O'Hara, coughing up water. She looked up at the bank and growled. There stood Annabelle Lewis, the seamstress and other creator of thing now floating around Cat's body, with a pin.

Cat scowled up at the woman and stood slowly, water dripping off her and skirts clinging to her body. She heaved herself out of the pond and stalked the seamstress.

"Stay back!" Annabelle warned, waving the pin in front her as she backed away.

Cat grinned tightly before lunging forward. Annabelle shrieked as she turned to run, but was slammed into the ground from behind. Annabelle turned and scratched Cat's face with pin wildly. Cat shouted angrily, rearing back in pain. Annabelle scratched at the ground,frantically crawling away. She got a few feet before Cat lunged, grabbing her ankles and pulling her back. Cat turned her over and grabbed the pin holding hand to wretch it away before hauling back a fist... which was caught and twisted.

"Ow. Ow. Ooowwww!" Cat repeated, letting whoever had her fist drag her back from Annabelle. Cat turned and looked up, scowling. Tavington scowled back.

"Let me go!" Cat demanded, standing.

"NO!" Tavington responded shortly, pulling her along towards Lucifer and Eva.

"She started it, William. She stabbed Luc with a hair pin!" Cat whined, dragging her feet along only to be jerked forward. Tavington stopped by the waiting horses and picked Cat up to deposit her onto Lucifer.

"Do not move." He ordered before turning to mount his mare, Eva. "Come along."

Tavington and Cat rode silently back to the stable, where they handed the horses over to the groom, who had left Cat earlier to go get Tavington. Tavington gripped Cat's elbow as he marched her towards their tent. He pushed her inside and followed, turning down the flap.

Inside Cat began to strip out of the wet clothes as Tavington went over to his desk to pour a glass of brandy. His back was to Cat, who was watching him sulkily as she put on a shirt and pants she had sneakily ordered to be made by one the village women. Cat sat on the bed, arms folded as she stared at Tavington.

"They deserved it, you know. Forcing me into those infernal death contraptions." Cat spat, glowering at the wetgownlaying on the floor.

"Are they so bad as that, Cat?" Tavington asked.

Something in his voice caused Cat to look up frowning. Tavington still stood with his back to her, but his shoulders were shaking.

Cat stood cautiously, worried. "William?" She walked up to him and placed a hand onto one of his shoulders. Tavington turned abruptly to face Cat... smiling.

"William, are you all right?" Cat asked, eyes wide with confusion and worry.

Tavington stared at her for a nanosecond before bursting into laughter. He clutched his glass tightly as he leaned back onto his desk, laughter wrecking his body, as his other hand clutched his stomach.

"D...D..Did you hear him?" Tavington asked between laughs.

Cat stared at him in shock causing a calming Tavington to burst in fresh laughter at her expression. Cat soon began to laugh with him, remembering what happened back the pond. O'Hara, before he had fell into the pond, had shrieked like a girl! Cat collapsed against Tavington, who wrapped his arms around her, both helpless with laughter.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do _not_ own O'Hara or Cornwallis. Who would want to? Hehe ...I _do_ own Cat and Annabelle.(grin) So don't sue for I have no money!

* * *

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Cat peeked around the parlor door and saw Annabelle sitting there primly on a settee. She backed away silently snickering. 'This is gonna be good,' Cat thought before strolling inside the parlor to greet the seamstress.

"Annabelle, I'm happy to see that you accepted my invitation." Cat cried happily to the glowering woman.

"I came for an apology, Catriona Johanson." Annabelle said, snobbily.

"Of course, Annabelle. I do apologize for scaring you. " Cat soothed as she went about pouring tea for them both.

"And?" Annabelle pressed as she accepted the china teacup.

"And...I'm sorry for attacking you. I hope the ground didn't bruise you...to bad." Cat said with sympathetic tone.

"Hmm...well..." Annabelle sipped her tea and swallowed, "You should be sorry. Grass stains are the devil to remove."

Cat made a noise of agreement. If one looked closely, one could see Cat's lips twitching.

"You're looking lovely today, Annabelle. I adore the dress you're wearing and the color. Mint green?"

"Oh yes, it is." Annabelle smiled brightly down at her gown. Across from her, Cat choked and began to cough.

"Are you all right?" Annabelle asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine." Cat gasped, settling her teacup down on the table.

"Hmm...well, I see you've take my advice with the corset."Annabelle observed with a smug smile.

"Ah, yes, I have, but not for enticing reasons." Cat said dryly, eyeing the seamstress laughing eyes.

Annabelle snorted ladylike of course before finishing her tea. "I'm sorry to cut this...pleasant visit short, but I do have appointments for today. One in particularly important. The sister of Major Huntington needs a gown for the upcoming ball at Hobbs Manor."

Cat twitched as she smiled tightly. "Ah that would be Cecilia Huntington. You'll have your hands full with that one, Annabelle."

"Oh, noone can be more than handful as you, Catriona." Annabelle twittered coyly before standing. She smoothed her gown before readjusting her reticule strap around her wrist. "Good day, Catriona."

Annabelle swept from the room, leaving a seething and evilly smiling Cat in the a parlor. She stood after picking up her teacup and hurried to the window to see Annabelle being approached by O'Hara and Cornwallis. Cat watched as O'Hara bowed over Annabelle's, grinning. Like O'Hara, Cat was grinning albeit evilly as her green cat eyes sparkled like a predators.

Annabelle curtseyed smiling close lipped at the two men. Cat's grin turned shark-like as O'Hara spoke again, telling something as all three open their mouths to laugh. Cat chuckled as O'Hara and Cornwallis froze, eyes staring as Annabelle, who was grinning with her teeth very much in display. The seamstress spoke, confusion on her face and her smile wilted slightly. Cornwallis seemed to be speechless and choking as O'Hara answered her back gently, touching his mouth as he spoke. Cat 's face was blank as she looked down into the teacup.

Annabelle wasn't smiling and she dug frantically into her reticule. She pulled out a small mirror and preceded to peer into it with teeth bared.

Annabelle began shrieking as Cat began to grin down at the _innocent_ teacup.

"CATRIONAAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Annabelle's voice crackled through the window and across the fort yard where everyone seemed to be frozen. Cat looked up to see Annabelle facing the window and Cat while waving a fist that clenched around a mirror at Cat, who was doubled over with laughter. Cat didn't stop laughing as she cheekily wavedto a black toothed Annabelle. She raised the teacup and grinned pointing to it as Cat shouted back.

"Good tea, huh?"

Cat turned away from the window and walked back to the tea set. She sat the teacup down and reached into one of her pants pockets. Cat was grinning as she pulled out a capped inkpot.

"Who knew tea parties could be such fun?" Cat said aloud before collapsing in laughter back into the settee behind her.

* * *

A/N: I've had requests and of course Annabelle was already on Cat's list so...tada! Revenge on the dear seamstress. Teh ink in the tea thing sounded just right for the vain Annabelle! (grin) I just aorry it's so short, but hey I liked the ending so didn't didn't add Tavington or a reprimaning Cornwallis. I think there's been enough Cornwallis and Cat sparks...for now at least (grin)

Cat: (pulls out list) Hmmm...(Scans it and then takes a pen and crosses out Annabelle) Now who's next? (taps chin)

Sassy: (jumps up and down) I know! I know!

Cat: (rolls eyes ) Well, duh!

Sassy: (looks at readers) And you'll never guess! Not in a million years!

Cat: (walks off mumbling, throwing worried looks back at SassY) Have to tell Tavington...she's lost...have to put...

Sassy: (pouts) I'm not that bad. Ah well...(shurgs before grinning at readers) Hope you liked this escapade. Another we will be in th eclose future. Faster if ya'll review! HINT HINT!


End file.
